A Journey to Discovering God's Design for Marriage. Col. 3:12-15 Part 7
Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put-on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. Children obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Bondservants obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God. And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ. But he who does wrong will be repaid for what he has done, and there is no partiality. (Col 3:12–25)
As I approached today's text, I wanted to wrap up the body of thought in this passage. I now realize that this is not feasible. This is because Paul is delving into the practical application of the gospel after laying the groundwork in the introduction. In this section of the text, Paul provides instructions to specific groups of people within the kingdom, namely, wives, fathers, children, and bond servants. Therefore, examining each group in detail in separate devotionals is imperative.
Hitting The Text Head On
The passage before us unequivocally states that wives should submit to their husbands, a meaning that cannot be altered, just as the command for husbands to love their wives cannot be altered, nor can the command for slaves to be obedient to their masters. The concepts of women submitting to men and slavery may give skeptics a sense of justification to claim that the Bible and its archaic ideas should be banned or burned.
Popular culture claims that the Bible and religions derived from it are misogynistic. This term refers to attitudes or behaviours that display a strong dislike or prejudice against women, often leading to discrimination or mistreatment based on their gender. While some passages in the Bible could be interpreted as discriminatory, the overall message of the Bible does not promote misogyny. Compared to other religions, the Bible gives women important roles and speaks out against mistreatment, advocating for their protection and rights, as seen in the Levitical law and the command to honour both mother and father.
Badly interpreted Badly applied.
Regrettably, some rabbis in Jewish history have attributed responsibility for temptation and sin to women, as evidenced in the Talmud and Midrashic literature. Some individuals in Christian circles also adopted this viewpoint. However, the notion that women are responsible for all of the world's problems is more aligned with Greek mythology (as seen in the story of Pandora's box) than with true Christian theology. Christian theology emphasizes that sin entered the world through Adam's transgression, not Eve's deception.
Some within various religious groups, including Christians, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Mormons, Muslims, and Jews, have been known to perpetrate brutal abuse in the name of religion, using scriptural texts to justify their actions. However, I can only speak to the Christian faith, and I can confidently say that no sane Bible teacher or preacher would promote the idea of a man being the “boss of beatings” in his home. Any man, particularly a Christian, who abuses his wife or children is a sick individual who needs serious help.
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Are you offended by Paul's instruction for wives to submit to their husbands? If so, you're not alone. This text offends modern readers, including scholars and teachers. Some try to interpret it differently to make the Christian message more appealing, but there's no denying the text’s clear meaning. Similarly, the text commands husbands to love their wives and slaves to obey their masters, even though the concept of slavery is also repugnant to modern readers. While there is contextual nuance, the meaning of the text remains unchanged. The shifting cultural and societal values can offend modern readers. Whether these shifting cultural changes are for the better or worse is a good question. You, the reader, can be the judge.
In the beginning
A thought-provoking passage in the book of Genesis reads, "Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." Some scholars interpret this as a foretelling of a woman's desire to control or dominate her husband, and Paul may be addressing this dynamic resulting from the fall. God's original plan for man and woman is reflected in the command to be fruitful and multiply, which was given to both Adam and Eve. They were both responsible for having dominion over the earth. However, after humanity's fall, this divine order was disrupted, and what was once passionate love between man and woman became a desire to dominate and rule over each other. This explains the present state of the world, where mutual respect and understanding between men and women are often lacking.
Women are Women and Men are Men
According to the biblical account in Genesis 1-4, men were created to assume the roles of leaders, protectors, and providers, while women were created to be helpers, creators and nurtures. Both positions were divinely represented in the creation of males and females, reflecting different aspects of God's nature. In the Bible, God is portrayed in masculine ways, such as a powerful king with authority and leadership. However, some passages depict God as nurturing and protective, like a mother hen sheltering her chicks. For example, in the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus laments over Jerusalem's rejection of him, saying, "Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing." This imagery of a mother hen provides a powerful illustration of God's caring nature.
We must acknowledge that societal norms continually evolve and should not let them deceive us. Just as an apple and an orange are both fruits, they have distinct differences in taste, appearance, and texture, making it impossible to compare them as equals in any other regard, except that they both belong to the category of fruit or food. One cannot claim that one fruit is superior to the other; they are simply different but should be treated with the same dignity and respect as fruits.
The same argument applies to men and women. While they differ in many aspects, as human beings they both deserve the same level of respect and dignity that life confers upon them. It is crucial to acknowledge and honour every individual's inherent worth, regardless of gender.
The Bible affirms equality between men and women only concerning their relationship to sin and to Jesus Christ, in which there is no distinction between male and female. However, the Bible does not suggest capacity, function, or role equality. Despite the world's attempts to blur these distinctions, men and women are inherently different and cannot be compared equally. God created both men and women to complement each other, and this complementary relationship works best when women allow men to fulfill their God-given responsibilities. Women are called to submit to their husbands within this context.
The male's responsibility is to establish a secure atmosphere in which women can carry out one of the most significant callings in the world: nurturing and caring for another person, moulding their personality, and inspiring hope, drive, and aspirations in their children during the crucial, formative years. In this context, Paul teaches women to submit to their husbands.
A qualified submission.
Although some preachers or teachers misuse passages like this to justify mistreating their wives and children, they overlook the qualifier in this text. Notice how Paul instructs women on how to submit to their husbands. The phrase "as is fitting in the Lord" implies that submission should be appropriate and consistent with the Lord's teachings. This means that submission should not be blind or lacking discernment but following God's will. Paul emphasizes submission's significance to promote harmony and order within the family while recognizing mutual responsibilities and obligations between both spouses. Ultimately, the phrase underscores the importance of mutual respect, love, and understanding in marriage.
Paul also teaches that men and women are equal in Christ and have significant roles in the church (Galatians 3:28). While some of Paul's instructions may seem restrictive to modern readers, such as his teachings on head coverings and submission, it is crucial to understand the cultural context and interpret them in the light of his overarching message of love, unity, and mutual respect in Christ.
Man is the head, but the woman is the neck that turns the head
As I contemplate my own experience, I am grateful that my wife and I never felt like we were competing against each other in our marriage. Instead, we naturally aligned with a biblical, affirming perspective rather than a confrontational one. For a loving wife, it can be challenging to allow her husband to grow into his role as a godly leader in the home, but my wife gave me grace and time to develop my leadership skills. She never tried to manipulate or control me despite my mistakes and poor decisions. We discussed difficult choices thoroughly, and she supported my final decision even when we disagreed. However, I have learned never to decide without seeking my wife's advice. This is because women possess a unique sense of intuition, perspective, and insight that men often lack. And I believe this was by divine design because Man was not meant to rule over his wife but to rule and have dominion over her.
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