Therefore, as the elect of
Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put-on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. Children obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Bondservants obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God. And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ. But he who does wrong will be repaid for what he has done, and there is no partiality. (Col 3:12–25)
Drawing from my personal background, both as a father to three biological children and an adopted child, and having temporarily fostered six boys, I can confidently affirm that every boy needs a father figure. My experience of growing up without a father involved his removal from my life at around the age of five or six and his reintroduction shortly before his passing. Though there were men in my life who cared for, loved, and provided for me, it was not the same as having my biological father present. While I appreciate these men, my gratitude cannot change the fact that their presence did not fill the void left by my father’s absence. I observe a similar situation in my current experience as I strive to be an affectionate and supportive father figure for these boys. Despite the love and care my wife and I provide, we witness the hurt and yearning in their young lives for their biological parents, especially their fathers.
I'm grateful for stepfathers and other men who have played a role in my life. It takes a special person to care for a child who's not biologically their own. I was lucky to have a man who provided for me in my youth and others who taught me valuable skills. I feel blessed compared to those who grew up without their fathers. Stepping into Father the Fatherless deserves a special reward.
God did not intend for casual sex and fatherless homes, common in North American culture. Absent fathers, in my opinion, have led a significant contributor to the decline of our society, along with the rejection of traditional gender norms. Besides our fallen nature, the breakdown of the family unit due to fatherless homes largely contributes to our cultural destruction. This is worsened by abandoning normative standards, including the belief in biological gender and the acceptance of transgender identification. These factors have led to our nation's decline, which can be attributed to husbands and fathers failing to fulfill their duties.
Multiple studies have shown the negative impacts of growing up in a fatherless home. (Note to the reader: The following research has been provided through AI. I did not read these articles personally and therefore cannot prove the veracity of the provided quotations.)
The National Fatherhood Initiative conducted a study which found that children from fatherless homes are four times more likely to live in poverty and two times more likely to drop out of high school than those with involved fathers. Furthermore, according to the same study, 85% of all youths in prison, 71% of all high school dropouts, and 90% of all homeless and runaway children come from fatherless homes.
In addition to these social and economic consequences, there are also adverse effects on children's emotional and behavioural well-being.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention study found that children in fatherless homes are likelier to experience emotional and behavioural problems, including depression, anxiety, and delinquent behavior.
There is also evidence suggesting that children in father-absent homes are more likely to engage in early sexual activity and have more sexual partners compared to those in father-present homes.
Journal of Marriage and Family found that girls who grew up in fatherless homes were likelier to engage in early sexual activity and become pregnant as teenagers. The same study also found that girls with close relationships with their fathers were less likely to engage in risky sexual behaviours.
Journal of Research on Adolescence found that adolescent girls who lived in fatherless households were more likely to engage in sexual activity and to have multiple sexual partners than girls who lived with both parents. Similarly, the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy reported that girls who grow up without fathers are more likely to become sexually active at a younger age and to have more sexual partners than girls who live with their fathers. They are also more likely to become pregnant as teenagers.
The Journal of Family Issues, adolescent girls who lived in father-absent homes were more likely to engage in sexual activity, have unprotected sex, and use contraception inconsistently than girls who lived with both parents. A 2013 study
Considering the breakdown of the family unit due to fatherless homes and the failure of husbands and fathers to fulfill their responsibilities, it is crucial to view Paul's comments in Colossians 3.
Paul urges fathers not to provoke or frustrate their children. This admonition highlights fathers’ critical role in nurturing and guiding their children and the potential consequences of neglecting this responsibility. Throughout the Old and New Testaments, we see a consistent emphasis on the importance of fatherhood and the role of fathers in the family unit. In the book of Proverbs, for example, we find numerous exhortations to children to listen to and obey their fathers (Proverbs 1:8, 6:20, 23:22) and warnings against despising or neglecting a father's instruction (Proverbs 15:5, 30:17).
In the New Testament, we see similar themes echoed in Paul's letters. In addition to his comments in Colossians 3, Paul also instructs fathers in Ephesians 6:4 to bring up their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. This command highlights the spiritual dimension of fatherhood and the fathers’ responsibility to pass on their faith to their children.
Moreover, the example of God the Father himself underscores the importance of fatherhood. Throughout the Bible, we see God portrayed as a loving and caring Father who provides for his children, disciplines them when necessary, and guides them into maturity. As Jesus himself taught in the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32), the Father's love for his wayward child is a powerful example of the unconditional love that fathers are called to show their own children.
As we reflect on the importance of fatherhood, let us remember that God is our ultimate Father, who loves us unconditionally and provides for our every need. Let us also be grateful for the men who have stepped up to fill the void left by absent fathers, whether as stepfathers, mentors, or other father figures. And let us be mindful of our own responsibilities as fathers to nurture, guide, and instruct our children in the ways of the Lord. May we honour God's design for the family unit and seek to build strong, healthy, and loving relationships with our spouses and children for the glory of God and the well-being of our families and communities.
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