8. Paul's Dodgy Baptism Dance and Forgetful Moments 1 Co 1:14–17

Let's dive into the hilarious world of Paul's words in 1 Corinthians chapter 1, verses 14 to 17. Prepare for some holy laughter!

So here we have Paul, being all cheeky and saying, "I thank God that I baptized none of you." Seriously, Paul? It's like he's playing a game of spiritual dodgeball, trying to avoid baptizing anyone. I can almost picture him hiding behind a baptismal font, shouting, "Not it!"

Initially, his words make one think Paul wants nothing to do with baptisms! And then he starts making exceptions. He's like, "Okay, okay, fine, I did baptize a few people." And then he conveniently forgets who else he dunked in the water. I mean, really, Paul?

Based on this text, we should be surprised his tag name did not become “The Apostle Paul, the forgetful baptizer” Maybe he should have had a baptismal log scroll.

Crispus and Gaius

Now, let's shift gears and explore the characters Paul mentions—Crispus and Gaius. These folks weren't just random names he pulled out of a hat. No, they played significant roles in the early Christian community.

First up, we have Crispus. He's like the leader of the synagogue in Corinth, a big deal in the Jewish community. But guess what? When Paul showed up with his Jesus talk, Crispus and his whole household jumped on the Jesus train and got baptized. Talk about a plot twist! Imagine the synagogue's reaction to their leader ditching them for a dunk in the holy water.

As for Gaius, he's an enigma. Multiple Gaius were running around in those biblical times, like a name that was all the rage. One Gaius appears in Romans 16:23, where Paul mentions someone who hosted him and the entire church in his house. Could this be the same Gaius that Paul baptized? Some scholars think so. Maybe Gaius had the gift of hospitality and loved throwing house parties for the apostles.

Church History

Now, here's the fun part. Church history and tradition add a bit of extra spice to the mix. According to those tales, Crispus became quite the superstar in the early church. Some even claim he became the Bishop of Aegina in Greece. Wow, talk about a promotion! And there are whispers that he was among the seventy disciples appointed by Jesus himself. I guess he went from synagogue leader to Jesus’ follower extraordinaire.

And then we have Gaius. Oh boy, many stories and traditions are swirling around him too. One version suggests he played host to the apostle John. Some even say he ended up as the Bishop of Ephesus, taking on some serious responsibilities. Another tradition connects him to the "beloved Gaius" mentioned in 3 John 1:1, a faithful disciple and receiver of one of John's letters—quite the VIP treatment.

Remember that these church traditions might not have the same historical reliability as biblical accounts; they are more like bonus features in a DVD, entertaining but not necessarily the main storyline.

So, there you have it—the comedy and quirks of Paul's baptism banter, along with a glimpse into the lives of Crispus and Gaius. But amidst the humour, it's worth remembering that these individuals played a part in the early Christian community, showcasing the Gospel’s transformative power.

The Point of the Passage

It is tempting to take a hilarious detour into the "Dictation Theory of Inspiration." Picture this: God is the ultimate dictation machine, with Paul taking notes and scribbling furiously. It's like Paul's saying, "Hey, guys, I didn't baptize many of you, but don't worry, God didn't dictate this passage to me either. So, no divine inspiration claims here!" but we are going to leave that alone right now and stay focus on our text.

Our son once had the grand opportunity to get baptized in the Jordan River during his trip to Israel. We were a tad bit sad that we couldn't witness it firsthand. But one must admit, how cool is that? Who wouldn't want to say, "Hey, I was baptized in the Jordan River!" That's like the ultimate baptismal bragging rights.

But hold on; there was a whole baptism industry going on there. I imagine stalls selling "I got dunked in the Jordan" t-shirts and souvenir water bottles. And let's remember the cost. You probably had to shell out some serious shekels to claim those bragging rights. While we were not present, we wondered if it was like a holy amusement park where baptism is the main attraction.

Here’s the real conundrum: Why would someone who's already been baptized go for another round in the Jordan? It's like spending seconds at an all-you-can-eat buffet when you're already stuffed. We're not against multiple baptisms, mind you. People have their reasons. In our case, it was all about diving deeper into the meaning of baptism.

Paul and his hilarious baptism banter in this text is simply Paul saying "Thank goodness I didn't baptize most of you, so nobody can accuse me of starting the 'Paul's Baptism Club."

Can you imagine the chaos if everyone claimed to be part of that exclusive group? We'd need membership cards, secret handshakes, and matching baptism robes! Picture this: people standing in line, bragging about their baptism credentials. "Oh, you got baptized by Timothy. That's cool, but Paul baptized me! You DO know Jesus appeared to Paul? So, then by extension, I'm practically a spiritual superstar." Sorry, Tim, but Paul has a better reputation, and I'm pretty sure He'd win the "Who's Who of Baptizers" competition hands down!

But here's the thing, friends. Paul's point is crystal clear. It's not about the location or the baptizer. It's about the heart and the faith behind it. Getting dunked in the Jordan River might make for a great story to impress your friends, but it doesn't make you any more spiritual than the person baptized in a humble bathtub.

Paul's clever baptism banter should make us chuckle, but it also serves as a gentle reminder. It's easy to get caught up in the external trappings of our faith, focusing on superficial things like the place or the person. But what truly matters is the genuine commitment and understanding we have in our hearts.

Bringing it Home

So, let's laugh at the absurdity of using the who, where and what’s as spiritual status symbols. Remember that faith isn't a competition for the most prestigious baptism experience or whom we know. Instead, let's focus on the true significance of our faith, the transformation it brings, and the love and grace it inspires in our lives.

Ultimately, it's not about the who, where or what’s about our baptism. It's about our deep, personal connection with God and the joy and peace that comes from living out our faith authentically. So, let's embrace the humour in Paul's words and let them lead us to a deeper understanding of what truly matters in our faith journey.